Mood Music Maestro.....

Yes, it is possible to tear yourself a way from the vine, even when it means leaving saying good bye to your friends. My family is taking our annual trip and meeting my cousins in Spain. I have left my watch kitty [OK Mr. Tough guy, ] I mean ...pitbull, nonStitiousZealot to watch over my articles. So if anything should happen, say a nasty troll or a visit from Billy Joel, please let him know. And thanks NSZ, for doing me this favor.

Well I will be back September 1, and I hope all of you enjoy your last days of summer

Love,

Perrie

Over the last couple of weeks there has been a massacre of ethnic Uzbeks on border between Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan. According to the AP, "Entire Uzbek neighborhoods in southern Kyrgyzstan were reduced to scorched ruins by rampaging mobs of ethnic Kyrgyz, who forced nearly half of the region's roughly 800,000 Uzbeks to flee. Interim President Roza Otunbayeva says as many as 2,000 people may have died in the clashes." Almost all of the homes of these displace Uzbeks have been burned to the ground, their business trashed, and the police that the Kyrgyzstan government sent in to "protect" the returning Uzbeks are not to be trusted. The UN has appealed for 71 million dollars to rebuild, but nothing has been done to assist the returning Uzbeks at present, other than some food supplies, which have been stolen. Which brings up a question that has bothered me for a very long time. Why does the world champion some human rights causes, while almost totally ignoring others?

Recently, I read a discussion between a person of faith and an ethical humanist about why it seems that America and other western nations have lost their moral compass. The person of faith blamed this loss of morality on growing numbers of people who have given up religion and are now embracing Ethical Humanism, atheism or agnosticism. The ethical humanist disagreed, stating that you don't need religion to be a moral and ethical person. This discussion was not particularly unique. I have seen it discussed many times before, and more often than not, I have seen these discussions turn nasty. The personal observation that I have made in my almost 50 years is that there does seem to be a trend towards a lack of morality and ethical behavior. We can see it on a grand scale, when banks fail and need to bailed out; yet greedy CEO's receive large bonuses. Their greed out weights what should be their embarrassment. And we see it in our day to day lives, with the loss of people saying "Please" and "Thank you". When we no longer embrace the pleasantries of holding a door for someone, or giving up our seat on a bus or a train to an older passenger or a pregnant woman. We hear in our daily conversations, words that would have been consider rude, now peppered everywhere. But the question I wonder about is this; does loosing ones religion encourage this and ethical humanism is the reason? Maybe, none of this matters and it's just a cultural change for the worse.

If you agree with the sentiments of this article, please vote it up. Let's make a statement here!

I fancy myself a moderate on most topics. I believe in compromise, compassion, and trying to find logical solutions. I can go into almost any discussion with a willingness to keep an open mind and my mouth shut and listen to both sides of an argument....
But then you try to discuss the Israeli/Palestine issue and that all goes out the window.

You see, the problem with this topic is that the parties who are invested into this issue have lost the capacity to do listen, compromise, and debate There is a total inflexibility in their discussions. They all do their standard talking points at first, which quickly turns into a fight and name calling. What they are is a mirror image of the actual problem of the Middle East. There is no trust between the two sides. They are invested in their anger. If they took the time to actually get to know one another as people, they might realize that they have more in common then they thought.

Regular folk never show up at these articles, although, I am quite sure that they have an opinion. They fear expressing themselves freely without coming under attack by the usual combatants. It seems that you also have to have a PhD in the history of the Middle East to enter these debates, and I use the word debate loosely here, otherwise your point is invalid

Personally, I have always been for a two state solution. I believe that the past is the past and it's time that we find how the parties can live together in the here and now. We know that this is possible. Just look at Northern Ireland. All it takes is compromise, compassion, and finding a logical solution.

I am not taking comments on this Op Ed. It would only turn into the usual angry fight and that is not my point. This is just a statement of fact, that if you can't even have a good and proper discussion on this subject; one that is inclusive and inviting to all; one where people actually listen to one another and come up with ideas and solutions, instead of history and anger, then we are nothing more, than the problem it's self......

How sad.

And just as I was thinking it was safe to go back out to East Hampton, I read the Police Blotter!

By David Lion Rattiner

Gutter Caper

Police in East Hampton Village have opened an investigation into the string of gutter thefts that have taken place in the last two months. They are following up on leads as to where the gutters would be sold, who stole the gutters and the home owners that the gutters were stolen from. Yes, it's official, we have officers who have to get their heads in the gutter.

Paintball Sniper

A man in East Hampton reported to police that he was shot at with paintballs outside of his home. It was described as a drive by paint-balling, as the suspects did not exit the car and took off after they fired. The man was able to describe the vehicle. It was really, REALLY yellow, with polkadots.

Caught With Pepper Spray

A man in Hampton Bays who was previously convicted of criminal activity was caught by police with pepper spray on his person. Police arrested him because it was unlawful for him to carry pepper spray due to his previous criminal history. The man could not convince police that the pepper spray was to be used on his food.

Stop Calling Me

A man in East Hampton just doesn't seem to be getting the message. The man has been calling a woman he wants to develop a relationship with but unfortunately for him, she isn't interested. The woman called police and they contacted the man and advised him to stop calling her. However, the man continued to call her and was subsequently arrested. We are waiting for details to see whom he called when police gave him his one phone call.

OMG....I'm scared. Remind me when I'm resting on the beach.

When I was in elementary school, I had two wonderful teachers, Mrs. Hower and Mr. Dreyfus. They helped me understand the turmoil I was growing up in. The 70's had just begun, and there was a war going on in Vietnam. Lieutenant Cally had been brought up on charges for the My Lai Massacre and Richard Nixon was under a lot of stress to end the war, while he was still increasing troops. All of these events were not filtered on the TV as they are now. We got full coverage of all of these events, live action war, body bags, body counts, bodies of men, woman and children lying in a mass grave. As I watched the nightly news, I saw anger and protests. I heard a lot of anti America talk from Hippies and Yippies. I heard counter reactions, calling Hippies and Yippies un-American. It was within this context that I grew up and it was the guidance of these two teachers who helped me navigate through the rhetoric and noise and understand what it meant to be a good American.

Souvenir

A picture postcard
A folded stub
A program of the play
File away your photographs
Of your holiday

And your mementos
Will turn to dust
But that's the price you pay
For every year's a souvenir
That slowly fades away
Every year's a souvenir
That slowly fades away

Words and lyrics, B. Joel

Souvenir. From the French word meaning to remember. We collect souvenirs throughout our lives. Occasionally we take them out from their dusty boxes, the scrap books we carefully constructed, or the photo albums we put them in, and look at them and remember. But the real souvenirs are the ones that are not physical, not the ones that we can actually see, but the ones that made us who we are. They are the defining moment or moments of our lives. Yet, those we rarely look at.

In Tyler's article, "Does not Compute: Newsvine, Still Not A Country", it was clearly pointed out that we all signed on here at Newsvine, that we had to abide by it's by the CoH and the User Agreement. But while this seems to be followed on Newsvine proper, in Meta, it's like the wild wild west.

So here I sit, a woman quickly approaching fifty and actively evaluating my own life, now that I can no longer deny that I am middle aged, when along comes a show, "Men of a Certain Age", which is all about men evaluating and having personal meltdowns as they go through their midlife crisis. Wait a minute....isn't that a woman's domain? I mean, out bodies supply us with enough hormone fluctuations that we should be allowed a period of legal mental insanity, where anything short of homicide should be allowed. And what about empty nest syndrome? What the heck am I suppose to do with all these twigs and feathers that I built my nest with. Burn them with a large group of other middle aged woman in some sort of "Burning Nest" festival, that we hold in the fall as the last of our flock leaves for college? What about those careers we gave up to raise that family that is now gone. Those diplomas look good on the wall, but do you realize how hard it is to start all over again? Midlife crisis is a real thing for us woman. What are the men moaning about? There is no men-o-pause for them, right?

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!

South Pacific Rodgers & Hammerstein

As a New Yorker, I have always felt comfortable with my cosmopolitan idea that hate in America was an anomaly . I felt I lived in a fairly progressive country, that had grown from the civil rights movement and WWII. As a country, I was confident that we all knew that hate is bad, that hate is evil. Then I was introduced to the world of news groups and my illusion of an evolved America was blown. It wasn't that I was naive that hate was out there, I knew that it was. But I didn't think that it was as pervasive as it is. Many articles that I read contain "information", that in actuality is an attempt to spread hate. All kinds of hate. This rude awakening that my assumptions were wrong about America is shocking. So I decided to investigate the facts about hate, and it confirmed my worst fears. I found out that very little has changed about hate in the US. All that has happened is it went underground, and how it is reported depends on the news service what what editorials you choose to read.

I can't believe it! I have been on Newsvine for One Year! And what an interesting year it has been. I have found that I really did get smarter here. I have found my voice and a place that I feel that I can be me. I have found so many wonderful writers and photographers and interesting exchanges of ideas with people. For the most part, I have enjoyed these exchanges even if we agreed to disagree, because in the course of discussion I grew. And where would I be without those wonderful people that I have met here and call friends! You all know who you are! What a wonderful, big hearted, silly, naughty, interesting, and thought provoking group of individuals you all are! Whether we've agreed or not, you're friendship has always anchored me here. In the moments that I have wondered if the ranker here were worth staying around for, my friends have always made me feel like this really was home. By the way, I have an article going out tomorrow, called, "Hate in America." Your all welcome to kick in, LOL! How about that for self promotion! Well, I hope that you all feel the same way about knowing me this year, as I do about you. It's been a great ride! I'm getting back on again.

Love,

Perrie

"Fearless people,
Careless needle.
Harsh words spoken,
And lives are broken."

A Prayer for the Dying, Seal

"I'm Sorry"

There I said it. Seems so simple, right? Then why is it said so infrequently? Why is it that we would rather see the end of a relationship then utter those two words....I'm sorry? Is it that our pride is more important than whether we are wrong? Have we forgotten to take a moment to look into the future to see the hurt that we may be inflicting, or is it that we are so self absorbed that we just don't care? Does our anger take over at a perceived injustice, or is it just a thoughtless act of inaction? All I know is that, too often, we don't say "I'm sorry" when it would be the best thing, the adult thing, to do. Even though we know that saying "I'm sorry is the right thing to do, it is almost too painful for many of us to say.

Maybe the reason we find it difficult to apologize is because it may be rebuffed then we feel that we have exposed our soft white underbelly. But what happens if we don't take the risk? What do we loose? Do we loose respect? Do we loose friendship? What we have forgotten is that the act of saying we're sorry, does not make us weaker, but demonstrates our strength, wisdom and maturity. If our apology is not accepted, then are they the lessor person?. Refusing an apology is an act that is more egregious than not apologizing, because you are taking advantage of a person when they are the most vulnerable. It makes the offended party small minded and immature. The person who is apologizing shouldn't feel badly, because they have acted maturely and the person to whom they have apologized could not rise to their level of maturity.

Even before this cyber age,words harshly spoken were hard to take back, but at least we had face to face contact with one another. Often times the sound of our voice, our body language or a simple touch says more than the actual words we say, thus providing additional information to prevent misunderstandings. But that face to face contact doesn't make it any easier. As humans we need the connection, but we are connecting in a personal way less and less. We have given up even speaking to one another. We live in a Blackberry world, where we find it easier to text than to speak. These words are permanently stuck in cyberspace. They have no inflection or facial expression, they are just words. Misunderstandings can easily devolve into anger and hurtful words which are often compounded by hurtful responses and the damage is as permanent as the memory chip on our devices. In this modern age of texting, posting and emailing, we are lost in our faceless, touch-less soundless words. So if we find it so easy to find the words to hurt one another, why does sorry seem to be the hardest word?

Vendetta on the vine....I bet many of you know what I am talking about. It is when a dispute is played out on the vine, and then the vine becomes an instrument by which one viner gets even with another. This just happened to me recently. I was caught quite off guard when it happened, because I hadn't perceived that there was a problem with this individual, until the postings started to mount and the vine emails started to fly. The vine email is an excellent way to spread the poison of one viner against another. Now on the other hand, it can be used to solve the problem off line, yet this was not the case. Yes, the vine provides a most excellent way of either solving a problem or making one with this very convenient email function .

In the TV show, "Lie to Me", the fictional firm "The Lightman Group" consults for law enforcement, businesses and individuals in the real life science of reading micro-expressions. It is a science based on the observation that quick, small, almost unnoticeable expressions that all humans make, have a universal meaning. They give away what is going on in our heads. If you are one of the experts in this field, you can read a person's facial expressions and know what they are feeling; whether it's shame, disgust, anger, and most important, lies. You might think that this is a wonderful skill to have. No one would be able to pull the wool over your eyes, right? You would be able to read what is going on in a competitors mind and use it to get the upper hand in business. These are but a few benefits of having this ability. But for the Cal Lightman, owner and expert of the fictional Lightman Group, this gift is actually a curse. He can't have a normal relationship with anyone. He reads each face like a book, whether he wants to or not, and because of that even normal family relationships are impossible for him. It seems that what we think would be deemed as hurtful, painful, and maybe even shocking, if those we love really knew what was going on in our heads. And one of the worse transgressions is the lie. Once it is exposed, a relationship may never recover. Why? Because we are all taught from the time that we are small children that lying is bad and that liars are bad. We even have Pinocchio as a cautionary tale teaching children the dangers of the vice of lying. Most people would agree with this right? Well, I'm going to say, "Wrong" and here's why.

Everybody loves a good joke. It's good for your heart and soul, and they say that laughter is even good for your health. But when is a joke not a joke? Is it a matter of sensitivities, or who's telling the joke, or just being too PC?

There are some jokes, that everyone finds funny. It seems to pick on a group that won't take it personally, like Lawyers. Everyone loves a good lawyer joke. "What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?" A good start.....see no offense. Although I am pretty sure that lawyers must be bored with them by now. Politicians are good fodder for jokes too, but I leave them alone for Jon, Jay, Dave.

For some reason....if your throw a Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister together in a joke....that is fair game. Maybe it's because you are not picking on one religious group. Same thing if you throw a Italian, Greek and a Jew together...I guess so long as you don't pick on one group it's OK. Blonds are fair game, too. I guess they have a better sense of humor than redheads or brunettes. "What do you call hoop earrings on a blond? Stirrups! See, funny and OK. Maybe it's just because they are too dumb. Anyone can tell a J.A.P. (Jewish American Princess )Joke. What does a JAP make for dinner? Reservations. Now why is that OK? Maybe it's because Jews have been such a big part of the comedic scene for such a long time, and can don't mind poking fun at themselves. The Polish people have been the brunt of many a joke. Some don't mind having it told by a person who is not Polish, others do. Why? And by the same token, why can't people do cross racial jokes? Is it just not as funny when someone from a different race tells a good joke, because in the back of your mind, their might be told with assumed malice? Can't it just be that it was told for the same reason that a person from the same race would tell it? It was funny.

It seems that it also matters who is telling the Joke. If you are going to bust on a group of people, you better be one of them. Blacks can tell black jokes, Jews can tell Jew jokes, and Greeks can tell gay jokes....no wait...I didn't mean that, LOL! See what I mean? The only comedian that has been able to tell cross ethnic jokes all these years is Don Rickles. I'm not sure why? Is it because he is an equal opportunity jokester, or is it because his advanced age has earned him the privilege to do so? In fact, very few comedians can tell a joke out of their demographics without repercussions. Is it just not as funny when it comes from another source or have we just become too over sensitive...too PC? Or is it just that it is rude to do so. So I must ask, when is a joke not a joke?